Ramblings of a 27 year old virgin (Part 2)

ramblings of a 27 year old virgin

A decent amount of my friends in the States have been married/in serious relationships for a while now but the missionary crowd tends to run single (and female) for a bit longer, so it’s just now in my late 20s that my making plans with friends is starting to sound like, “Let me check with Felix,” and, “I’m not sure what Yeffry is doing,” and, “Danilo is only in town till Sunday.”

You would think –Β I would think this of me anyway, so you are free to do it, too – that these kind of comments would…

  1. Annoy me because I am a naturally self-focused person as well as a naturally decisive, follow your gut person and I naturally assume that my way of being a person is the best way of being a person and so therefore believe that my friends should just make their decisions and plans based on what they want to do and not what their significant other wants to do.
  2. Make me feel high-horsey about feminism and independence and all that hooplah.
  3. Make me bitter and jealous because I don’t have a man with a hip Dominican name to check in with.

But God gives more grace. And I don’t feel any of those things! A testament to God’s work in my life. Instead I…

  1. Take it in stride. “Okay! Check with him and let me know! Or, “Just message me.”
  2. Am so incredibly happy for these wonderful, beautiful women who now have these wonderful, beautiful men who love them and care for them and make them laugh and treasure them. (Today I was visiting my friend Kristin and her adorable baby and her husband called just to see how she was doing. Just to check in. Precious.)
  3. Am so grateful that these really cool guys get to be a part of my life, too! As I mentioned, this expat/missionary hybrid life I am living can be pretty female but the body of Christ is diverse for a reason and I need men in my life, too! Hanging out with my friends’ boos is a great way to get some new friends.

I teach my students, “Love says, ‘You first.'” And God keeps using my own words to open my eyes to His hand at work all around me. God is Love and I see Him in how my friends love their husbands/boyfriends/fiancees and how they are loved by them. In how they consider each other in their plans.

I see God in how my friends love each other and me. I see God in how families love each other and how spouses who have been together for DECADES still call each other “honey” and get each other cold beverages.Β  I see God in how people are actively saying, “You first,” with their words, habits, and actions. And all of these beautiful pictures of love are not only preparing me for my great love story (it’s coming – I have faith!) but also helping me to love better right now today. To love my students better and my housemates and my coworkers and my friends and their boos!

It’s crazy how quickly things can change, but it’s true that for everything there is a season. For some of my friends their season of singleness has ended (woohoo!) and for some of my friends (like me!) our season of singleness is thriving (woohoo!). But in every season there is abundant Love. Praise God.

 

4 thoughts on “Ramblings of a 27 year old virgin (Part 2)

  1. Love this.

    Also – the high horsey feminist perspective doesn’t necessarily disappear when you are married or the one saying “let me check in.” Sometimes I hear what I’m saying and I think, “Ugh. When did I stop making my own decisions??” Granted, I still make my decisions, I just get to include someone else in the process from time to time. And he usually has pretty good ideas. All that to say, the grass is always greener. Continue to embrace where you are. It’s an encouragement and challenge to us all. Go you!

    1. “I just get to include someone else in the process from time to time.” That sounds nice. πŸ™‚ Thanks for always reading and for taking the time to share your perspective. And thanks for the words of encouragement! Once I get married that’s it for life so I might as well enjoy this single life while I can. πŸ˜‰

  2. I was definitely that “be your own person.. .ugh, that’ll never be me!” hahaha. oops. It’s amazing how perspective changes. Now I understand it. It’s not that he controls me. It’s like your friend above said… you are a team now, you work together, so decisions work better that way too.

    That being said, next time, let me know you’ll be here a little earlier, so I can get MORE TIME WITH YOU!!! πŸ™‚

    1. Yes – perspective is everything! And even now my perspective has changed because I KNOW you and Kristin and Amanda and I KNOW (not as well, but you know) Yeffry and Felix and Danilo and I see how you just like being with this guy, you know? So it’s not about control (not in a good and healthy relationship) but about partnership!

      Will do. πŸ˜‰

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