I’m a loser baby


It’s December now! The first thing I felt this morning when I woke up and remembered it was December was relief. November was great. Novembers are always great. But November was hard. And busy. And really full.

The month started off with my boss and her family in the States, which meant I was running the hostel alone. It also meant that I worked like, 15 days with only 1 day off or something crazy. Hard! Busy! Full! But great. Because guess what? I can kind of run a hostel. And when my boss got back we got to have a couple good conversations about how we can love and serve each other better as we work together. I ended November feeling better about my job than I have in while.

I turned 27 this November. And we all know how I love birthdays. And I did love my birthday! I celebrated the whole weekend. I hung out with some friends and played games, I went to Wendy’s, I saw Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (so good!), I had solo sushi while watching Glee, and I had dessert with friends! I cannot believe how fortunate I have been with these new friends of mine in Jarabacoa. They are so great!

My birthday was busy and really full! And hard. Because I turned 27 and I’ve been watching Glee. Remember that episode early on called “Never Been Kissed” when Coach Beast shares with Will that she’s never been kissed? She talks about how hard it is being an adult who has never had the same experiences that most other adults have had and she talks about how easy it is to believe something is wrong with you when you’re a grown woman who’s never been kissed.

She gets me.

This November I, for the first time in my life, got paid to write words. My very own words are out there for the world to read and I got paid to write them. Only you’ll never know it was me because I’m copy-writing about things like taxes and fashion watches. And it’s super fun and awesome.

For Thanksgiving I got to take my first post-move-to-Jarabacoa trip to San Pedro! It was such a gift and a delight to spend a day eating with my San Pedro family. I am so, so grateful for those wonderful, amazing people and how they love me and feed me.

I also participated in NaNoWriMo this November for the fourth time! I teamed up with my friend Alise (whose blog you need to be reading if you like books) and it was a great experience. I remembered that I’m not done writing the story I started four years ago. It feels so real, like it’s all happened already and I just have to write it down.

But I didn’t write it down. At least not all of it. Not even 50,000 words of it. I failed NaNoWriMo for the second time. Which gives me a 50% NaNoWriMo success rate. Which is still really cool because I’ve written almost 200,000 words just in the past 4 Novembers! And because while writing 46,696 words I also read seven books, including Harry Potter and the Cursed Child which I’d love to talk about, and three books from Ted Dekker’s Circle Series, which I’d also love to talk about.

Remember when Jen Hatmaker and Shauna Niequiest and other such wise ones told us about the art of saying no? Well, November was overwhelming. And being the problem solver that I am, I brainstormed how to feel less overwhelmed. These are the problem solving strategies I came up with: prayer, honest conversation, figuring out what I want to say no to. And this month I decided that I was going to say no to the pressure of having to finish NaNoWriMo. It was liberating.

So here’s to December! To letting things go and making room for the full and great and hard things to which I want to say YES.

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