Yesterday something happened that… well, sucked. A group of people felt that I was wronging them in a couple of ways and so they wrote me a letter and had a third party deliver it to me. The letter listed the things I was doing wrong (and had been doing wrong for MONTHS, so many months) and requested that I stop doing these things immediately.
Okay so after the initial tears (so many tears!) I realized that, while a bit exaggerated, these people’s points were totally valid. I was doing the things they listed, I just did not realize how those things had been affecting them. I wasn’t thinking about the situation from anyone’s perspective but my own, which is another lesson and another blog post.
But it took me a while to get to that point because I just felt so attacked and so awful. Like I mentioned, the complaints were a bit exaggerated and so when I first read the letter I felt like a complete villain who was ruining the lives of everyone around her. After talking things through (God bless Facebook messenger) with a couple wise and level headed friends, I felt better. Humbled and rebuked, but better.
Except not completely better because it took me three hours to fall asleep and even now, over 12 hours later, my stomach still feels off. BUT About an hour or so ago I figured out a way to really make me feel better. First of all, because I was in the wrong (even if I didn’t realize it), I can apologize. Apologizing always sounds like it’s going to be awful (because you have to go up to someone and say, “I did this thing wrong,” which isn’t fun) but it always makes you feel so much better. I speak from plenty of experience. Second of all, I decided to put things into perspective.
What if? I asked myself, What if, instead of enduring your silliness for months one of your neighbors casually asked you one day – Hey, could you stop doing that? It’s kind of inconvenient for the rest of us.
Well, I answered myself, I would’ve say – Oh, yeah, totally! I didn’t think about it from your perspective and that was wrong of me. I will stop doing that right away!
And then everything would’ve been dandy! So my imagination, my ability to tell a story even to myself and even in my head, has helped me put things into perspective. Yes, I messed up but it’s not the end of the world. (Hey, that sounds familiar!) Yes, I messed up but there is absolutely nothing I can do about things that have already happened. I can only vow to do better tomorrow. And I can use my wonderful imagination to dream up solutions to these problems and then put them in action.
I guess my third of all, (in the list of how to get the lead out of my stomach) was to write about it, which is always helpful. Onward and upward, my friends! I will do the best I can until I know better, and I can’t know better unless someone teaches me better or until someone points out a problem I need to solve. Then I will solve the problem and do better.