Remember when I did NaNoWriMo? Twice? For the same novel? Well it’s still not finished, even though I once ambitiously set a self-publish goal for August of this very year. (Which is next month.) In fact, I haven’t even looked at my novel for months. MONTHS. Because I was pretty far into the third draft (or second draft?) and realized that Birdie is WAY too Katniss and that’s not what I meant and that’s not who Birdie is and her settlement is not District 12 and so once again I needed to rework the relationship between the settlements and I figured something out but then it was just a lot of work to go back and make sure that none of the other character’s sections contradicted one another and is it believable enough that Raymond would do what he did and how do I show that escalation in basically just one half of the book because the other half of people aren’t really affected by Raymond and how do I ensure it’s different enough so that during the movie adaptation people like me aren’t sitting in the audience going, “Peeta?” and, “Oh, like Ron and Hermione,” even though I know there’s nothing new under the sun and this isn’t going to be made into a movie?
So, yeah, writing fiction, even tweaking fiction I’ve already written, hasn’t been on my radar lately because when I start to think about it, that (seen above) happens. Also in May and June the Dominican Republic gets SO HOT and I got a puppy and a yoga practice and had a classroom to pack up and friends to say goodbye to and I just got busy and so tired.
BUT! Something cool has been happening lately. Not something cool like me actually writing fiction but something cool like me FEELING LIKE MAYBE I COULD WRITE SOME SOON. Perhaps it’s a feeling only a writer with no self-discipline can relate to, but writing fiction (and even gearing up to write fiction) feels like dreaming and it’s a whole-body, light, happy, creative feeling and I’ve been feeling it with increasing frequency over the past couple of weeks.
Every single piece of fiction I’ve ever written (the short baby stories I post here and this crazy novel adventure and the folder full of “Writing Ideas”) has been inspired by a dream. True story. I met Grayson and Finn in a dream and all I knew was that they lived in some kind of Zenon space stay-esque enclosed city. Almost two years later I’m still figuring out The Nation, but it all started with that dream. The past two days I’ve woken up from dreams thinking, “I should write about that!” I didn’t, but I thought about it. And that’s the first step.
Some writers (like all the successful ones) write every single day and that is a good practice that I often try and often fail to adopt. I have the luxury of not writing for a living (or any money, actually) so I can afford a lack of discipline in that area. I can keep writing for when I feel inspired and light and dreamlike and creative.
What I’m saying is, I still haven’t touched my novel or written any kind of fiction in months, but there’s a very good chance I will do both soon. Which is exciting enough for me.