Isn’t it awesome/annoying how God’s always right?
For the past couple of weeks I have been obsessing about the future. Who am I going to marry? Where are we going to live? Are we going to adopt kids? How many? How long will I be teaching first grade at The Palms? Should I move? Should I get a cat? Should I get a dog? What about two dogs? Should I get curtains?
It’s been annoying and exhausting.
During Sunday evening church/prayer time I asked a friend to pray for me in this regard. She did, which was nice. Then, later in the service I was asking God for forgiveness for all the time I had spent wondering about what might be when I’m not even promised tomorrow. I asked Him to forgive me and also to help me to keep my mind focused on things above instead of being distracted by all the things down here on earth that don’t really matter (especially those future things that don’t exist). I asked Him whether I should talk to anyone in particular about these plans I’ve been formulating for myself and He said, “Why don’t you pray?”
I said, “Why don’t I talk to so-and-so?”
He said, “Why don’t you talk to me?”
I said, Sigh.
He said, “Just try it my way and then if it doesn’t work you can do it your way.”
God seriously said that to me. He placates me.
So I prayed for myself. I surrendered my feelings for any particular and unparticular fellas I might have my eye on for marriage. I said, “I give you these feelings Lord to do with what you will.”
I surrendered my future. I said, “I give you my future. I’ll stay here until you tell me to leave. Thank you for preparing me for right now and for using my right now to prepare me for later.”
And guess what happened? God’s way worked! What do ya know? In the past two days I only had one ridiculous thought about my future kids.
God was all, “If my way doesn’t work you can try your way,” like we didn’t both know His way would work. What a guy.