Help me. Turn my selfishness to selflessness. Turn my frustration into patience. Turn my pride into humility. Help me to actually think about others more than I think about myself. To have my eyes opened to how I can be loving the people around me. To shove aside thoughts of myself long enough to be able to hear from You how I should be relating to people.
I am always looking for examples of how to live. I read blogs and books and think, “What would Katie Davis do?” “What would The Very Worst Missionary do?” But when I ask myself those questions I am missing the point. I am missing the point that Katie lives to make. I am missing the point that Jamie writes to articulate. The point is that I have all I need in the Bible. The point is that to live like Jesus is to know Him. To be so deep in love with Him that all I do is an outpouring of our relationship, of our closeness. The only way to get there is to spend more time with Him.
Which may mean watching less TV or reading less blogs. It may mean spending less time on Facebook and Pinterest. Ultimately I have to make the decision. Am I going to say, “Yes!” to the life that Christ died to make available to me? Or am I going to say, “Just a minute! After this episode. After this chapter.” How much am I missing out on? By not choosing Jesus I am missing out on more than a TV show, that’s for sure. When I look back on my life will I be so thankful I watched so much TV? Or will I be thankful for the time I spent with my God.
The most frustrating part is that I write this down, I suggest these things to other people, I hammer them into my head with my words and the words of others. Yet it seems nothing changes. I crave a God-given desire to know Him yet that is the one desire I was created with. I am created to know Him.
I wrote this just over a year ago and saved it in a Word document. What a blessing to look back with 14 months of experiences, perspective, and prayer and see growth. I still watch a bit too much TV, but choosing Jesus early and daily is becoming a habit. A beautiful, life-giving habit.
Where have you grown in the past year? In the past six months?